Uniformed Zombies
by meowbooks
Summary: James and his men chase after Jack Sparrow into a blessed ruin...and find themselves turned into zombies.


Disclaimer: CotBP isn't mine, dears. This was written for a raisethedead swagfest over at livejournal. It was a Secret Santa sort of thing, but now that the unveiling has occurred I'm free to post it here! :D Credit to mamazano for the prompts that inspired the story.

**Uniformed Zombies**

Vibrantly colored birds flittered above in the canopy casting pale green on the forest floor. Glittering beetles, fiery ants, and the bzzts of insects too small to be identified patrolled the silent stones of the structure. Gnarled roots dove beneath its closed walls resurfacing triumphantly on the other side into a cavernous space.

Five ghastly, stirring, decaying forms were scattered there. Two sat back to back, heads bowed forward, muskets still laid across their laps and ready cartouche boxes at their sides. They wore faded red coats, tarnished buckles, holey black hats and boots. The other three wore gold trim, graying waistcoats, torn blue coats and disheveled, once graceful wigs. These three unfortunate forms did not share the friendly familiarity of the first duo. One slumped against a wall, arms folded, bone peeking out from worn elbow of the sleeve. Another was curled up near the crumbling steps of the closed entryway hugging his musket. The last and most decorated one sat against a pillar facing the other four and opened his eyes.

Sitting up straighter, he unsheathed his sword, grimacing at his reflection. He stood up, bones creaking under the effort. He glared at the source of the sound—his knees this time— and shook his head. He readjusted his wig and hat hoping to reclaim some degree of his now nonexistent respectability. The officer strode over to the arm folded figure and bent over him.

"Gillete."

The now-named arm folding figure, Gillette, stirred sleepily before opening his eyes and shrieking. He spat a spider on his superior in the process.

"What is it?"

Gillette stared, mouth gaping, allowing a few more spiders to make a hurried exit. The unmistakable voice of Commodore James Norrington had calmed him a bit.

"N-nothing, sir. I'd hoped this was a dream."

James plucked the spider off what was left of his nose, sighed and nodded in agreement.

"AHHHHHHHH!" The two officers turned their heads. The previously sitting, identically uniformed duo, were aiming muskets at each other. Norrington blamed the ceiling above with his eyes before saying, "Misters Murtogg and Mullroy!"

The two men sheepishly lowered their weapons. "Good morning, Sirs!"

The last decaying skeletal figure jerked awake, spotted the skeleton wearing Mullroy's clothes, and clutched his musket to his chest. "SIR! We're under attack!"

Gillette snorted seeming to forget how he woke up that morning, "It's a bit late for that, Groves."  
"Now that we're all awake…" Norrington stood and his men followed suit. "I say we continue our search. Swords out," Murtogg and Mullroy eyed their weapons. "Bayonets then, I don't want to risk firing rusty weapons. We don't know who else...or what… may be here. Sparrow and his have been set on evasion, but we can't assume the same for anything else."

The navy men silently chose the passageway in which they would begin. It was narrow, branching off into many rooms and ways light slipped through the cracking roof, slicing it into stripes. They peered into cobwebbed doorways and root loosened stone floors. It was unsettlingly quiet.

They stopped to rest when it branched off in two directions creating a T-shape. James sat near a collapsed portion of a wall, trying to work the rust off his sword. It was only then that the silence was broken. It was a distant voice, just one, no one replied and it was too low to understand. He told his men to wait before deftly climbing through the hole in the wall.

It was yet another passageway perpendicular to the one they had searched. James turned right and traveled down it. The low sound was closer now, he stepped slowly and peered around a corner. There lying on his stomach, head resting on hands as he stared at six small carved wooden figures was Jack Sparrow. He too, had been affected by whatever had changed them. His crew was oddly absent and yet he was speaking.

"Ah, Cotton, at least _your_ conversational skills have not been affected. Though, your parrot worries me…"

"On your feet," ordered James. "Where are your men?"

The pirate sat up and turned none of his usual lightness evident. He didn't reach for his sword. He turned back to the row of wooden figures, plucked one from the line, and held the wooden figure out. "You would think the good Commodore would remember his own."

James stepped closer, took it, and realized what Sparrow had meant. There was no doubt as to who the wooden figure was. "Mister Gibbs?"

"Mm-hm." Sparrow nodded quietly taking the wooden figure back. He carefully placed each one inside a coat pocket before looking up. "So you see, it's in my best interests to restore you and your men."

**Part Two**

"The giant stone door with creepy eyes wouldn't open," Groves had joined Gillette in slouching against a wall. "I slept on a rock, I creak when I move and you smell like rotting fruit…This is…it's…"

"Sparrow's fault…"finished Gillette. He leaned back further, and pushed his tricorn over his eyes. "If he hadn't ran through the blasted jungle. We'd have never ran through the door before it closed, cutting us off from everyone else!"

Groves shook his head, "He did warn us—loudly— not to follow…"

"Oh yes, we'd stop because he asked…"

Murtogg and Mullroy spotted Norrington emerging from the large hole in the wall and hurried to his side. Jack silently climbed out, for once, unnoticed.

"We were thinking," began Murtogg. "We ought to know the extent of our resilience." He wiggled his bony fingers. "So we might take advantage of our present state."  
Mullroy spoke up. "We wouldn't choose a vital area of course—"

"A shot in the foot, perhaps—"

Gillette brightened and straightened his slouch against the wall, "Sir, I'd be willing to assist—"

"Gillette!" said Norrington alarmed and disappointed at the offer his lieutenant was making.

Groves looked thoughtful and raised a hand, "They do have a point, sir…"

"I will not have my men shooting themselves in the foot!"

"No, that wouldn't do at all," agreed Jack stepping forward to inspect the foot Murtogg had been displaying. "Wooden legs do nothing to improve anyone's looks."

James noted how swiftly Sparrow had flipped from his air of gravity. Groves pushed his hat up higher, Gillette began to glare, Murtogg stared, but Mullroy was the first to recover.

"Mister Sparrow?"

"Sparrow," growled Gillette. "It was you!"

"Lieutenant, you flatter me…" grinned the pirate, circling. "I'd no idea I inspired such thoughts as possessing mystical abilities." Jack sighed and settled down on one of the entryway steps. "Alas and alack, I do not."

"Hah! Well—"

Norrington cleared his throat before Gillette could say more. "_Captain_ Sparrow has agreed to a temporary truce and will explain the situation."

Jack smiled wider and folded his legs crisscross applesauce, readying himself. Murtogg and Mullroy exchanged looks hoping Mr. Sparrow's explaining would be as interesting as last time.

"This place," Mr. Sparrow spread his arms wide, "was blessed by a magically inclined soul. Some say a voodoo priestess, others, a sea witch and others a black, talking lizard with a scarlet tongue. The peaceful inhabitants had protected said soul and she wished to repay them. War rustled in the leaves, ever closer and they wished to avoid it." He grinned darkly.

"The web of protection worked all too well It learned of all the harm that came from living in this world and concluded the only way it could protect them…was to keep them. They could reach no one and nothing could reach them. Not even death. Nor could their magical benefactor escape. So she created maps and sent them away detailing the means for their rescue and a reward beyond measure."

"Treasure maps?" asked Mullroy who had inched closer with every sentence.

Jack unrolled a battered looking piece of parchment with one fluid motion before them. He motioned for them to gather around it. He tapped the top left corner.

"'_Seven shall past and brave the way. Follow our words, survive the day. If foes shall follow, all shall change— alliances must rearrange._'" He looked up. "When I first laid eyes on this the second part wasn't there."

"Fascinating..." whispered Groves, studying the map. He looked up from it to the red coated duo. "Well, it looks like you two are getting a story of your own to tell."  
Norrington squinted at the thin lines that stood for the path they were suppose to take and small, scrawling, handwriting on the map. He found the entryway they had come in and traced their steps to where they were now. As soon as he had found it he read what was written there.

"'_It surrounds until it's name is said then it falls down quite dead_.'" Why did everything have to rhyme? James glanced up at Sparrow and took the pirate's smirk as meaning he had figured it out as well, but was electing to have him say it. "Silence."

A low, rumble groaned from above. Before they could see what it was about, dirt and stone clouded the air and they heard shrieks and the flap of wings. Furry flying things were flocking in one direction, tangling in wigs or beaded hair and someone was doing a bit of shrieking themselves. The ground stopped trembling. The dust cleared and they were surrounded by three solid walls. Murtogg stared into the very dark and only passageway left. "They're very specific."

"Why can't they say 'Take the right one!'?" Gillette threw the useless lump of his wig down. "No, it's 'solve the riddle and you get bats in your wig and a dark passageway!'"

"Calm down," smiled Groves patting Gillette on the back. "Officers must have a degree of authority." He unsheathed his sword and headed into the passageway. "Next thing you know, Murtogg will be telling everyone an officer screamed while being attacked by a bat."

James rolled up the map and handed it to Sparrow who had that confounding amused, gold glinting smirk on his face again. "_You_ read the next one." He said following Groves.

"I did not scream!" shouted Gillette before rushing after them. Jack smiled and beckoned to the duo. "Come along gents, or they'll be saying we're afraid of the dark. Can't let that happen can we?"

It wasn't pitch dark, but the slices of sun filtering through were thinner now, like pieces of straw. There was no need to look at the map just yet—there were no rooms to inspect along the way just a single, dim, and sloping serpentine passage. It seemed to Mullroy that treasure hunting wasn't nearly as exciting as in stories what with all the wandering that was going on. Even the novelty of being grey and raggedy was wearing off and he'd stop being bothered by the creaking for some time now. He felt a tug at his arm.

"Mully!" whispered Murtogg. "We need to stop."

"Why?"

Murtogg hesitated, "I think I lost my nose. It was there one moment, then it sorta dropped off back there."

"How can you tell? It's so dark."

"Wouldn't _you_ notice if your nose fell off?"

"I guess so." Mullroy stopped and summoned as much sound as he could. "HALT!"

Mullroy heard a few people bumping into each other before the sound of footsteps hurried back to where he and Murtogg had stopped. "What's going on here?"

That was Commodore Norrington's voice. Mullroy chose his words carefully. "Permission to speak, sir?"

"I gave you that."

"Well…" How did you explain your friend's nose had fallen off?

"I think my nose fell off, sir!" Apparently you didn't explain you let your friend blurt it out. An unsure silence came before the Commodore spoke. "Are you certain?"

"Um, well I can still feel it."

"I thought it fell off."

"It did, but I can still…wiggle it. It's on the ground back there somewhere."

"Oh." If there had been enough light to see anything the Commodore would have had a very unsure face to match the awkwardness in that syllable. "Gillette! Groves!"

The two officers rushed over, nearly knocking the redcoats over. Mullroy righted himself and ensured his own nose was still in place before helping Murtogg.

"Right, I suppose the only way to do this is…erm…Gillette and Groves stand next to each other and fill the width of the passageway, then sweep back down in that direction. Murtogg and Mullroy will follow in the same fashion…"

"What are we looking for, sir?" That was Groves. James sighed tiredly and adjusted his wig. "Murtogg has lost his nose… Just—that was an order!" He pointed in the direction he wanted them to go or at least he hoped he did.

"I found it!" Groves hurried back to Murtogg and stuck it back on with a strange squishy noise. Relieved that everyone's noses were still intact they continued to move forward. The passage began to widen out and the ceiling sloped upwards. A pair of torches flickered to flame as they passed, setting off a chain reaction, a long hiss signaled the lighting of the passageway.

Jack unrolled the map. "There we are! Now that we have the prop—aaaaaaa…" He made a spluttering hissing noise, his eyes went wide, he moved his mouth, but no other sound was uttered. He stared helplessly at them.

"What's got—" Gillette coughed dryly unable to finish the phrase. He glanced at Sparrow for once they agreed on a point. This was not good. One by one, they tried to say simple things that moments ago would have been simple and one by one, they encountered silence. Jack handed James the map. What he read did not reassure him at all: _The only way to fight these foes, is to strike the coward's blow. An end to aid I fear is near, it's up to the unexpected to persevere_.

The last torch was lit. The seven men looked up. The passage began to widen out and the ceiling sloped upwards. It had to for there was a giant in their midst. A stone one and it was waking up. It climbed to its knees. The navy men and pirate began to back away. Swords and bayonets were looking as useful as a sinking boat.

The more they inched backward the more they realized it wouldn't help at all. The other way ended in three walls. And those words weren't helping either, running through their heads:  
_An end to aid I fear is near, an end to aid I fear is near, an end to aid I fear is near, an end—_

No, no, that wouldn't help, thought James. What had the rest of it said? _The only way to fight these foes is to strike the coward's blow._ But that didn't make sense. A coward ran from a fight he didn't strike the blow. Foes? There was only one large, giant stone statue and—

James felt something at his back. He looked over his shoulder. Sparrow had his sword to it. This was no time to end the truce! Sparrow looked at him, then at the stone creature. Coward's blow… James turned around and nodded. He held up three fingers and mouthed the words. On three. The two drew their swords.

Sparrow lead the count. _One_. He was a bloody skeleton. One of his men's nose had fallen off. _Two_. Commodore James Norrington of the King's Navy fighting with a pirate at his side? _Three_!

The two charged forward. Sparrow sped up and so did he. They darted past the creature's toes, the middle of its feet, the heel. They turned, and jumped on the wooden heel grasping at the vines and roots around it. Up they scaled, sword in hand, leaves in other. It was like a mast in a storm, swaying, moving, towering. This shook with every pounding step, the ropes weren't secured with strong knots, you didn't have to jump from the lower leg to the upper to avoid being sandwiched by the hinge of the knee.

The other navy men had stopped confused at the sight of the two charging full into the creature, but they were backing away once again. Then Groves dropped his sword and Gillette dropped his and the redcoats knew something was wrong. The two officers started slowly moving forward. Murtogg tugged on Groves' arm and Mullroy at Gillette's shoulder, but they didn't turn. The duo ran in front and saw blank skeletal stares and faces.

James looked away from the vines to the ground below. Murtogg and Mullroy were dragging unconscious officers backwards. This was not a leg, this was a mast, just a moving not attached to a ship mast. He peered upward. Along where the spine would be had it been human and not a stone giant were two long grooves. That had to be it. Faster, faster, the giant seemed to run. He didn't see how this would be a coward's blow. There was Sparrow. The two plunged their swords into the giant's back.

The torches dimmed and flickered back on again. An open doorway let in sun. Murtogg wiggled his nose— sure enough it stayed on. Gillette and Groves sat up. James unsheathed his rust free sword. Jack took the wooden figures from his pocket and quickly set them on the floor before him. FWAP!

"That was for thinking I'd forget about the boat!" Jack assured himself his jaw had not fallen off. "I assure you I never thought that. Honestly, Ana!"

"You say that word again and I'll know you're lying." She threatened. "And—" She spotted Norrington and his men. "What are they doing here?"

"A flag of truce as it were," Jack explained. "Ah! Mr. Gibbs, it is most gratifying to have you with us again."

"Thank ye, Cap'n!" Gibbs smiled. "What about the gold?"

A giant, black lizard with a scarlet tongue crawled forward. "Surely freedom is the greatest of rewards?"

"Thank you, Mystical One for your assistance." said Jack with a bow. The lizard smiled before disappearing. The navy men slipped out the door until only James was left. He nodded.

"Sparrow."

"Commodore." Jack smiled. It had been a temporary flag of truce after all.


End file.
